OURS Cuddle Coaching

Cuddle Coaching - FAQ

What is professional cuddling / cuddle coaching?

Professional cuddling is a wellbeing service based on platonic physical connection. It is non-erotic and non-romantic. People may choose a course of cuddling for many different reasons. Some are touch-starved but do not seek a romantic or sexual experience. Some want a practical way to improve their communication and consent skills. Others simply want a safe, non-judgmental space to work through loneliness, trauma or haphephobia.

In addition to having completed a professional cuddling course, I’m also a certified coach specialising in loneliness and social wellbeing, so you’re getting both services in one session. Of course, if you’d rather cuddle in relative silence than talk, that’s fine, too.

What are the benefits of cuddling?

Most of the physical benefits of cuddling come down to the release of oxytocin. This powerful hormone, released from your pituitary gland, helps us feel connected. It can also affect pain, immunity, inflammation, and can even reduce high blood pressure. Oxytocin is also proven to have a profound impact on how we sleep. While individual results vary, cuddling clients may experience improved sleep for several nights after a session.

The emotional benefits of cuddling also vary from person to person, with relieved stress being one of the most common experiences. Some people feel a little 'high' or experience a form of trauma release, while others enjoy increased connection, confidence or creativity after a session.

What kind of touch is involved?

We start where you’re comfortable - that might be a hug or simply sitting side by side, chatting.

Communication is very important in cuddling. Once we’ve talked about the hoped-for outcomes and expected boundaries, I may guide you through different holding positions or touches, such as patting, stroking, tapping or gentle pressure, to see which ones feel good.

Professional cuddling is a great way to practise consent skills. You’re welcome and encouraged to say ‘no’ at any time. If you sometimes struggle with saying or hearing ‘no’, please let me know before the session begins, as this is something that we can work on.

What are the rules?

At the bottom of this document, you’ll find a code of conduct, which covers the basic rules of professional cuddling. The finer points on how to keep the touch respectful and platonic (such as avoiding touch on areas that would commonly be covered by undergarments, for example) will be discussed with you in person. These discussions are part of the trust-building, communication and consent skills that professional cuddling can be so effective at improving.

What if there’s an area of my body that I don’t want touched?

Nothing will happen that you’re not okay with. Before we start, we’ll discuss boundaries and preferences. Everyone has them, myself included. Personally, I prefer not to have my face or feet touched. Whether you’re self-conscious about a body part or simply ticklish, you can always advise me to avoid an area.

What do you look like?

As a mature, plus size woman, I’m able to give soft, nurturing cuddles. Beyond that, what I look like is irrelevant, since professional cuddling is platonic and attraction is not the goal. I will be clean, makeup free, and plainly dressed for our session.

What should I look like?

Like yourself! Cuddle coaching is a wellbeing service, not a date, so there’s no need to dress up.

Cleanliness is important - partly as a matter of mutual respect between cuddler and client, but also because people generally feel more confident and relaxed when they feel fresh and clean.

While deodorant is encouraged, please avoid strong perfumes or colognes.

It’s best to wear casual, comfortable clothing. Please ensure that you are fully dressed - it’s recommended that skin between the armpits and knees is covered at all times.

I live with a disability. Can my caregiver be present during the session?

Of course.

How old do I need to be?

Clients must be at least 18 years old. There is no upper age limit.

I’m in a relationship. Is it okay for me to book a session?

My answer is yes, because cuddling as a service is focused on wellbeing — it is not romantic or sexual in nature. Ultimately, however, you and your partner/s determine what constitutes fidelity or betrayal within your relationship, so you should let your own values guide you.

So, it’s really, truly, NOT sex work?

Absolutely not. Cuddle coaching is an utterly platonic service.

Here in Aotearoa New Zealand, sex work is fully legal and I respect those who practise it, as well as their clients... it’s just not for everyone, and it’s not what I do.

My services are deliberately priced at a premium to reflect my unique set of skills, and also to ensure that if sex is what a client is actually after, cuddle coaching isn’t simply viewed as the cheaper option.

What happens if I inadvertently become aroused?

If an attempt is made to engage in sexual activity, such as kissing or groping, the session will end immediately. No refund will be given, and if necessary, authorities will be contacted.

That being said, sometimes physiology and friction just do their thing, regardless how pure one’s intentions may be. In that case, you don’t need to worry that I’ll be offended or flattered. If something comes up, just let me know, and we’ll break or reduce contact until the situation is more comfortable.

Do you do sleepovers or full-day experiences?

A standard session is between one hour (60 minutes) and two and a half hours (180 minutes) long.

I am open to full-day (8 hour) experiences. Any travel, food or activity expenses are to be paid by the client.

I don’t do sleepovers.

How much does it cost?

One hour: $299

Two hour session: $549

2.5 hour session: $799

Full : POA - starting from $1999 + expenses

Tipping is welcomed, but not expected. A travel fee may apply.

Prices are given in NZ currency and may change over time.

Missed sessions or sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours notice will be charged at the full rate. Sessions are non-refundable. However, if you are unable to attend a session (and give 24 hours notice) a credit will be kept indefinitely for you.

Code of Conduct

By booking a professional cuddling session, parties agree to the conditions listed below.

As a Client of a Cuddler, I:

Agree to respect all boundaries set by the Cuddler
Understand that this service is platonic and the cuddling relationship is professional in nature.
Agree not to pursue sexual arousal or sexual interaction with the Cuddler
Pledge to communicate personal boundaries and what I find comfortable throughout each session
Agree to disclose to the Cuddler any diagnoses or conditions that may affect the session
Agree to disclose any illness or conditions that may be contagious before interacting with the Cuddler
Will avoid use of any substance (including alcohol) that would affect my ability to give clear and informed consent during a session
Will ensure respectful personal hygiene (clean hair, teeth, body and clothing)
Will obey and uphold local laws at all times.

As a Professional Cuddler, I:

Reserve the right to only accept select clients for this service (due to time constraints, safety considerations, location/availability, etc) but pledge not to discriminate against any client or prospective client on the basis of race, gender, faith, nationality, disability, sexual preference, sexual orientation, body type or age (above the age of consent)
Pledge to make accurate statements about my expertise and training, what I offer as a cuddler, and about the objectives of professional cuddling
Acknowledge the confidential nature of the client relationship and respect each client’s right to privacy
Pledge to operate in good faith, using ethical business practices
Will ensure that clients understand the platonic nature of the service before working with them
Agree not to pursue sexual arousal or sexual interaction with the Client
Will model the communication of personal boundaries and consent throughout each session
Agree to disclose any illness or conditions that may be contagious before interacting with the Client
Avoid use of any substance (including alcohol) that would affect my ability to be fully present and focused on a client's wellbeing during a session
Will ensure respectful personal hygiene (clean hair, teeth,body and clothing)
Will obey and uphold local laws at all times
Pledge to operate within my realm of expertise, and make appropriate referrals when necessary.